mosquito bites

you know what's weird?

breast pads.

not that they exist, but that i had no idea that they existed. i'd heard of them, but now that i use them, i'm shocked to discover that there's a whole industry of breast pads out there with different brands and styles. they're similar to menstrual pads in variety and target audience. i'm just amused and surprised that something of this sort existed and i was oblivious.

i'm not a very skilled out-loud reader. it makes me uncomfortable and i tend to throw in extra words because it seems i find it easier just guessing at what i'm reading rather than simply reading it. a few days ago, a lady at the health unit was encouraging us to read to éamon. she gave us a book or two. they're very short and i find them a little pointless. so i've started just reading my own book to him out-loud. the added bonus to this is that i pay attention better to the plot and it takes my mind off other things. i'm hoping that with practice, i'll improve. i find it quite poor that i've reached adulthood without mastering this skill. but i suppose people avoid the things they're not good at.

this afternoon i was quite upset with brendan's employees. he keeps having to cover their shifts at work because for one reason or another they don't show up. i spent a portion of the afternoon crafting a speech to them – imagining what i'd say if they were my employees. i was especially mad because there were things i needed to do around the house and needed b's help with because i'm not able to tend to a baby at the same time. eventually i started reading my book instead, it helped pre-occupy me. sometimes i think people don't know the difference between "can't" and "choosing not to".

just like children sleepin'
we could dream this night away.