stand in the place where are

i have this unfair habit of living in the future. unfair because it makes me dismissive of my presence, which is unfortunate, especially after working and pining for my current reality. my mom often remarks that i get more excited during the planning stages than i do in the execution state. i've never had a problem with that, so i've always just shrugged off her comments. but now it's giving me pause.

i'm worried about my lack of presence. i'm wondering if i have an escapism mentality, always wanting away.

life is never perfect, so how do we deal with life's disappointments? how do we manage through the hard bits while remaining present?

i don't really know. but i think it's time for me to find out. i usually just wait discontent out, knowing things will eventually change. but i'd like to be really present, and live boldly in the face of difficulty. it's not my instinct at all, but something's gotta give, and it's not gonna be all the external factors.