several of the people that I'm closest with hate conflict. their enneagrams peg them as peacemakers. avoiding conflict has never really been a thing for me. I'm too aggressive to shy away from a fight. but lately, all I want is peace. 

now, I don't think that's the same as avoiding conflict, but I want a peaceful environment, I want harmony, I want gentleness and quiet. I REALLY want quiet. some of my favourite moments with my kids are when they are still and quiet. I think it's tied to adjusting to life with two kids. I found the volume in my life increased expedientially since otis was born, and my tolerance for noise has gone down. between the two of them, someone is always making sounds. the other day, with wishful thinking, I said to b "let's just sit here and pretend it's just us". 

with my after school kids, I have tired to not be on them about noise and have aimed to just let them be kids and give them the freedom for silliness. but at this point it seems that that's not helping anyone, so I've started implementing boundaries around loudness and language. and funnily enough, it's been very effective. today I had my favourite day with them by far. *rose*

it goes beyond noise though. I don't want to hear or be part of other people fighting, bickering or accusing each other. I just don't have energy or patience for drama. a few days ago, a friend tried to drag me into some conflict between him and a friend of mine. I felt pretty awkward about it, and my interactions with him afterwards were tense. actually... now that I think of it, I had TWO (male) friends try to drag me into conflict with mutual friends this week. and I pushed back with both. largely because I just want peace, but also because those are not my fights to be part of. by doing so, I sure hope I'm able to avoid conflict with them. *thorn*