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i stayed home sick today. my stomach has been bothering me since yesterday afternoon and i felt on the verge of throwing up when my alarm went off. it's been a quiet day of knitting, watching the t.v. and reading my post secret book. late afternoon i decided i would watch elizabethtown. i love that movie. it made me smile a lot, i especially like the scenes of him in the car, because i totally do that. i used to hate being sick all alone, it felt weird and isolating, but not anymore, i've gotten used to it.

i did think of something to send in to post secret, but i'm not gonna. putting it in writing only makes it real and i want some day for it not to be. i'm not going to cement it into my life in that way. reading my post secret book made me realize something; it's not what we regret when we die that matters, because when we die nothing will matter. it's what we regret while we live that's important. and right now.... i regret nothing.

she finally understands what i've been feeling all these years. she saw it with her own eyes. in a way it's nice to be validated, but at the same time... it validates it, which is harder than believing it's all in my head.

i dreamt about crocheting last night. when i woke up i decided that after i knit my shrug (and possibly a pair of sox if i decide i just need an easy portable knitting project for the north), that i'm going to crochet something. perhaps an afghan. or what's another easy project?

those who risk... win.