it's been a good weekend. there were a lot of hurdles, but in a way that makes it more satisfying. b's move went fairly smoothly, except, his box of mugs fell to the ground and they broke. he loves his mugs, so i was really sad for him. we're going to try and fix them.
andrew and shannon's move was not so smooth. first there was major pressure from lawyers to get out of the house, the new place wasn't ready when they expected, when they got access the carpet cleaner arrived and it took 6 hours to dry, then we were short-handed, and there were a ton of stairs. it was pretty intense, but we managed. my favourite part was sitting all together on the bench eating ice cream afterward.
today was good. we did the last of a+s's moving, then b and i did some unpacking at the erbs. we took a crazy long nap at my house, then drove out to the west-end for a box of cereal. yesterday (during my moving break, and before b left for ottawa) we rearranged my room to accommodate the new double bed. i'm really digging my new arrangement. i've never had my desk in this corner of the room before, i really like it :D
when we were on our cereal-run, we got talking about something devona said the other day. she told us "marriage is the most difficult things you'll ever do in life. it's also the greatest joy". we know that marriage is hard – both because we come from broken homes, but also because people don't hesitate to frankly talk about the hard side of marriage. we appreciate the warnings, and i don't think we're naive. however... we do wish that people were more specific. i've heard it said that the first year of marriage is one of the hardest, but no one has ever explained why. i wish people could tell us how. it won't change anything, but i'd really like to understand what makes it hard. at this point... all i can think is that brendan's my best friend and i'm looking forward to spending my life with him as my partner, how is that difficult? i'm not saying it won't be, because i believe everyone when they say it's hard. i just wish i had a better understanding of how these difficulties will manifest themselves. we have our fair share of disagreements, and we can get on each other's nerves, but we're also pretty good at resolving those things. and will get even better with devona's help. i dunno. i just keep thinking of the time when brendan said "i know that it's going to be hard, but all i can think is that i'm going to be going thru those things with lesley! so even at it's worst, it's not so bad". maybe we are naive, but we're prepared, we just don't know what's coming our way. so we move forward with eyes wide open, ready for face things together.
pretty eyed,
pirate smile,
you'll marry a music man.
2 comments:
Here's the thing: the things you guys face will be different from the things any other couple faces. And that's why it's hard for people to be specific. Even if they were, chances are, it wouldn't be helpful.
On the bright side, our first year of marriage was amazing! It was wonderful! We found our level of fighting declined dramatically from when we'd been dating and we just really reveled in being together. Things continued to go very well (with the odd little glitch, of course) until kids came on the scene. Then all hell broke loose. But we got back on track.
I look back at our first year very fondly. May you and Brendan also.
Rachels of the world unite - I was just coming over here to say the same thing - no two couples face the same hurdles! And of course no two couples surmount those hurdles the same way either. Some jump over, some crawl under and some even crash right through them!!!
We didn't have a bad first year either - nor was it our hardest. We're well past the 7 year itch, and frankly I think that nobody can predict your tough spots for you Les... maybe not even you! Life is full of surprises, both lovely and not so lovely :)
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