caboose - pt 2

i slept badly last night. i had some unsettling dreams that left me waking up sore-hearted and depressed. i'm still in recovery mode from that. i hope my moral will improve thru the course of the day. right now i just feel like crawling into a hole and sleeping for a long time. perhaps i'm just tired. i was thinking last night how i'm so tired of being unrested. sundays are anything but a day of rest, and yet i feel that the sentiment is a good one. resting, it's an important preventative measure. i may make monday evenings my time to just loaf. i kind of wish i could bow out of everything, all my activities and later re-add them one by one. last night all those kind people who donated their food were at home. they were all just spending the evening in. it made me long for home. i just want to be these days, and not do. i feel it makes me a bad friend because i'm less available and less assessable, but that's probably just my own expectations of myself. there are too many activities in the world, and it's hard for me to say no to them.

anyways. i'm starting to ramble, and this entry is getting quite long. maybe i'll break it into two.

be more like the woman you were made to be.