songbook

i have 8 weeks left of work before my maternity leave starts. it's pretty crazy! i have mixed feelings about that. part of me is really looking forward to having an extended break from my work routine (clock-watching, bagged lunches), another part of me is excited to think that in 8 weeks time, we'll be that much closer to meeting our baby, and a third part of me feels reluctant because i'll be leaving a place and space where i feel really comfortable and confident. i know what i'm doing when i'm at work, i know my place and have, over time, carved out a role that is valued and appreciated by others. i'll soon find myself in completely unknown territory, without years of experience to give me confidence, overwhelmed by intense emotions and physical exhaustion, with a tiny little person dictating much of my time. all i can really do, is set my expectations very low, and brace myself for a steep learning curve. thankfully, i know it will get better as the days and weeks go by. we'll find our rhythm and i'll learn a trick or two to keep up my sleeve. i'm a firm believer that the most challenging things in life can also be the most rewarding.

i had a dream about our boy recently. he was a toddler and he had dark brown eyes like me, and wavy shoulder-length hair.

some things they never last.