four years

for the first time ever, eamon is at daycare on his birthday. i suppose it's a sign of our changing relationship, and his expanding world. although, otis and i are taking some cookies to the daycare for his class's afternoon snack, and he'll probably come home with us after that.

eamon at four is a pretty amazing kid. i love that gradually over the last year brendan and i have reached a point that we can have full-on conversations with him. he's inquisitive and engaged. he regularly surprises us with the things he remembers and his sense of direction. not only is it hard to believe that he's the same kid born four years ago today, it's shocking that a little baby who is barely aware of the world around him, much less the people, can develop into this little person. sometimes i think about all the stuff in life that he will discover down the road, such as world events like WW2, that he has no idea about. thankfully the learning curve of life allows us all to take things in a little at a time.

this past year changed us from a duo (speaking of me as a mom with one child) to a trio. and that hasn't always brought out the best in either of us. but on the other hand, when things are good, it brings me so much joy to watch my boys play and giggle together. i'm trying to do better. to read him better, and to teach him to read himself and the room. i want us to be co-collaborators and for our time together to be filled with love and peace. i also want us as individuals to feel... (i'm having difficulty coming up with a word) whole. i have this image of strong cloth in my head – absent of holes, tears, pulls, thin spots or stains. is there a word for that? well, i want us to feel that way when we're together. not new, but strong, in tact and comfortable.