beckie and i went for a really nice long walk down to the water tonight. we sat on big rocks eating our portable dinners pondering why it is that life has to be so complicated. we came to no solid decisions, except to say that there are more shades of grey than we were aware of. when is "the time"? how young is "too young"? how can you be "high-maintenance" and "easy-going" at the same time? why do assholes look like normal people?
i really wonder why our hearts and heads don't get along more. why can't we justify our feelings? why can't we reason with our hearts? i'll never know. i look at my parents and shake my head thinking "it never gets easier". i suppose you can make better decision for yourself. but ultimately i wonder if we're destined to keep falling into the same holes.
i had a rough start to my morning. i swear, if i was able to get back into bed and start today over again i would have. it was infuriating. lets just say i got to work 45 minutes late. ouch.
i got an email from my mom today. she went to pennsylvania dutch country with her small group. i thought that was ironic since i went to nyc with part of my small group. it sounds like they had a good time, she said they had fun and good laughs, especially when visiting the amish town named "intercourse". which made me laugh-out-loud and think maybe they weren't so different to us after all.
i loved walking down the streets of manhattan with the girls. we'd walk in one wide line of four across the sidewalk like the ladies on sex & the city. it was cool. it felt great.
i feel like talking a lot. hmmm. i get like that sometimes. sometimes i just want to socialize and feel like having a job gets in the way. oh! i wonder if kristen is coming home soon. i should email her and find out.
its hard to believe i'm moving in 10 days. i'm excited and overwhelmed at the same time. for someone who doesn't like routine i also seem to abhor change. my mom thinks that comes from the instability of my life. i think that's true. its interesting how life events can affect us way after the fact, although i think i've been purging myself of such things – becoming closer to my natural self.
i hit an iceberg in my life
but you know i'm still afloat
6 comments:
I used to think that life as an adult was way easier when I was a kid...it does just seem to be more complicated.
Do we just try to become more comfortable living in the grey?
I remember a part of a quote that basically says that as we grow older we have a lot of questions but we have to continue to live life...and pray that we "will one day live into to answers."
interesting. i like that notion of living into the answers. also i'm glad you're still visiting pspd while you're away. i miss you already ;)
I just had a tragic thought in response to "why do assholes look like regular people?"
what if - horror of horrors - we all carry the seeds of assholitarianism inside us? that would make sense... might explain some of the darker shades of grey that we find in our own thoughts and actions. perhaps on occasion we are the assholes who look like regular people.
hmmm. i'm actually more intrigued by the fact that you posted that anonymously than what you had to say. clearly you don't know me very well if you think that concept hasn't already crossed my mind. next time, don't bother posting a comment if you don't have the balls to reveal your identity.
thank you, come again ;)
dood it was me!! I thought you'd know it was me by all the verbiage!!
you're such an asshole! ;) hahaha
just kidding
i DID think it was you, but then dismissed it. i thought it was crazy scott so i was really annoyed.
you are so devious!
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