i gave up drinking coke 2 years ago in order to lose weight. since then, i'll have one a week at the most (as opposed to 6 a day – ouch! i know. i had a problem). but this weekend, due to moving and the need for convenience, i've been drinking a lot of coke. i know in my head that i'll just lay off the sauce for a month, get plenty of excerise and it will all balance out. however, i'd forgotten that since quiting coke i have very little tolerance to caffeine. its 11:11. i've barely slept all weekend, and yet i'm not tired. stupid caffeine.
i'm settling in pretty well. i'm trying to take "the forbes approach" and tackle one room at a time. although, i find myself distracted by other "quick" tasks. regardless, my kitchen is just about done. hurray!! i looks really nice, especially with the orange flowers rhonda & isaac gave me. al's giving me a kitchen table and i need to go to the hardware store and get a different nozzle for the facet because my dishwasher's attachment won't screw on. yes, i said dishwasher. i have a countertop dishwasher. i think tomorrow i'll tackle the bathroom. i'm going to paint it, just gotta decide on the hue.
i've had a number of things running thru my brain the last few days (when i had the rare moment to think of anything other than moving). one thing is: where do you draw the line between being a good friend/co-worker/daughter and being walked all over? i instinctively want to stand-up for myself, but how do i know when to swallow my pride? this question fits in several areas of my life, but the one i'll share with you is this: i was telling my dad that i'm going to use my drill to enlarge the bolt screws in my futon frame. and he said "i can do that for you". my first reaction was "i can do it myself". its not pride, its not arrogance, its not even me trying to prove myself. its actually because i feel like "you left me as a little girl to take care of my mother. i had to figure out all these things on my own – how to be her 'repairman'. i don't want your help now! you have it all backward!!!" so what do i do? i don't know. i know i can take care of myself, but is that really how its supposed to be?? its all going back to that "independent thing" again. argh.
i like my new place. and i like starting a new phase. as i said before, its come at the perfect time. i needed something to dislodge me. its not easy, and there's definate downsides, but nothing worth doing ever comes without some kind of fight. its hard but worth it. this is my new reality. i'm going to absorb it.
it'll be just like starting over.
5 comments:
I know what you mean about the caffeine. I used to go out and drink 7 cups of coffee in an evening pretty regularly. I gave it all up when I was first pregnant. Now one cup of coffee makes me utterly miserable. I feel all shakey and like I'm about to stand up and sing a solo in front of a thousand people - all anxious, but for no reason. Plus it keeps me awake.
YES!! The Forbes Approach is finally brainwashing you, mwha-hahahahaha!!!!!! I'm happy to see that you're so organized and so hilariously influenced by us!
wow, 7 cups-o-coffee does so pretty extreme. everything in moderation - that's my new motto.
right on laney!! i much admire you and home reno ways.
power to the people!!
i have no idea what that means, but that song just popped into my head. must be all the crack i've been smoking.
caffiene doesn't seem to affect me quite so drastically. i don't really drink that much of it, so fortunately it generally does work as it should when i need it to!
but, wow, you should see colby on sugar... we don't give it to him much, but i think he's starting to understand its appeal. drives me crazy to see him so wound up, sometimes. other times he just kills me laughing.
i was totally like that as a kid too. i wasn't allowed kool-aid. actually, all red juice was strictly forbidden.
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