infinite confusion

oh man, i'm in big trouble. why didn't i see this coming?!? awww CRAP!!

i've had a fun day. i've grown to really love sundays, they're usually chalkerblock full and most enjoyable – i look forward to them all week. when i walked home from the goat this afternoon i was so exausted and i shuffled my feet the whole way. it was quite the challenge. i think it was the load of mcdonalds i had in my belly. gross. when i got home i collapsed on melinda's bed and lied there for an hour making various grunting noises and occasionally ranted about my problem.

i have a lot to say. and yet i want to be selective about what i say. i've concluded, although this isn't a recent realization, that i'm a blabber mouth. i want to get control of that. i don't want to be that way. i don't like it. so what does that mean? how does that translate in my head? not sure. i don't know how to filter what's appropriate and what's inappropriate, but i think the key is to think about things before i let them blurt out. or to hold off saying things because later i may be glad that i did. discretion is a good thing.

i was talking to andrew and paul fiorillo about work at the party the other night. they were asking about any possibility of me moving to another city via a promotion. i mentioned that we have an office in berlin and in montreal, and as much as i think i would be qualified for a postion there, the fact that i can't speak french or german is a set back. so they were like "why don't you just learn how to speak french and german if that's the only thing holding you back?" i like how it sounds like such a simple solution. and that's something i might seriously consider at some point, but i'm so AWFUL with languages that i'm afraid it wouldn't go well. its like sewing and squash, as much as i desire to do well at those things, it just ain't gonna happen.

i had to find you. tell you i need you. tell you i set you apart.