irregardless

i crazy-glued my head-light back in place. and so far it's holding ok.

i went to the goat after church today. i'd run some errands and then arrived there to have a cup of tea and read my book. that's the second day in a row i'd gone to the goat, i don't know how much of that was a result of the fact that my apartment was a bit of a dump and i was escaping it, or simply i felt like being out and about. when i arrived every single table was taken, so i resorted to the side bar thingy. it made remember a sad story beckie had told me once, and it made me wonder if those stools were reserved for pathetic parties of one. although, i didn't feel pathetic. i placed my vest on an empty stool, and asked the fellow next to me "is anyone sitting here?" he was very friendly and told me "no.... how are you today??" i told him i was good and asked how he was. i felt encouraged by this friendly exchanged, and went to order my snack. when i got back to the side bar, my new acquaintance had left, but that was alright, more room for me. i was delighted to discover that i actually really liked the side bar, it's very high, and seeing as i like to sit close to my food, and i had a wall to prop my book up against, it worked out ideally. i kind of wish i'd been forced to sit there before! i felt good, and comfy, and uninhibited. i guess i was always just too intimidated to sit there, it draws attention to my aloneness. however, i resolve to listen to the advise i'd give to other people. what would i tell me? do i believe the words of encouragement i give to others? i do, so i should buck up. take heart. it'll be ok. it's temporary, this too shall pass.

the highlight of my day is finding a gift for david and sending it in the mail. it's something he's been looking for for a while, and i know he'll be totally thrilled. and knowing that makes me totally thrilled. i also gave jordin her mixed cd, which i forgot to take with me to living room so thankfully she was able to come home with me to pick it up afterwards. i really like giving people gifts of things i think they'll really like.

i want to apologize if i talk too much about being single over the next little while. it's really on my mind, and something i would like to change. i know not all of you can relate exactly, but i hope you can understand what it's like to have to wait for something, to have to trust and hope, while staying objective and sensible. i could take the approach of not divulging these details, but i'd rather be transparent about it. i'd like you to journey with me. because in the end, you'll be able to truly celebrate with me. since in life, we're never actually an island, we're all in this together.

soon it will be hammered into what she calls her silly head,
that she really isn't silly but she's beautiful instead.