bothersome

season four of living room started this evening. i think out of all four premiers this was my favourite. i wasn't feeling stressed or anxious or a lot of pressure from my own expectations. i was prepared to roll with the flow and things went really nicely. it was a good group and we had some good discussion. we're studying the nooma series.

i'm incredibly restless right now. i'm emotionally fidgety, and it's a sensation that's not going away. i agree with the diagnosis that i'm on the verge of something significant, but i don't know what. i have yet to figure that out, although i know what i'd like it to be. sometimes i feel like i'm on the outside looking in. i kind of feel like a benchwarmer. wow, that's actually bang-on. i totally feel like a benchwarmer – i didn't realize it until i wrote that. no wonder i feel so restless and fidgety.

i'm really terrible at icing cakes. good thing i doesn't really matter, it tastes the same regardless.

i'm so bored with my life right now that i feel numb. man, i wish i could feel something, i sure do miss it. when i was a kid, "bored" was a "swear word". we weren't allowed to say it, we had to find something do to. i still kind of work that way, i instinctively want to "fix" my bored state, but there's no quick solution.

when's it gonna be MY turn?

let's forget about the boring brick suburban homes,
let's go out, we'll take this town,
let's wrestle this city to the ground.