unrequited

it has been a tumultuous day. emotion after emotion, bad news after bad news, difficult experience after difficult experience. i won't got into all the kicks in the crotch, i'll just tell you the main one. the knickers denied my request for a leave of absence. to say that i'm angry at her doesn't even begin to describe what i'm feeling. to say that i'm upset is an understatement. this trip to scotland was so much bigger to me than a time away from work. and she's a pinhead if she thinks it ends here. i told myself that if she let me go that i would stay with the company another 3 to 5 years, but if she said no, i would leave. so i've formed a makeshift plan for the next 18 months to 3 years of my life. it may not all come to fruition but at least i have hope that i'll some day get to do something other than be trapped in that cubicle.

the first step of my plan involves going somewhere awesome on vacation. i'm thinking either greece or peru. i asked beckie and melissa if they could come with me, but neither of them are able to commit to going, even though they'd love to. so i'm currently looking for a travel companion. i'm |this| close to asking josh if he'd want to go greece with me, but he probably wouldn't be able to get the time off at work. stupid jobs, they're ruining our lives! :p

i wish i had a funny story of tidbit to share with you this evening. but i guess it's not an amusing story kind of day. maybe tomorrow. there's always tomorrow.

i wish. i wish. i wish.

sometimes i wish i wasn't so resilient.

i got the green light,
i got a little fight,
i'm gonna turn this thing around.