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for the last few mornings, i've been waking up either stressed, impatient, or otherwise out of sorts. today was a bit better because i woke with a "one more day down" like i'm counting down to some unknown date.

while i've tried to keep busy, i'm not very motivated to get things done. i have that homesick feeling when the person you love is far away and you can't muster the energy to do anything, because all you really want to do is be with that person. i'm eager for my so-and-so to be born. i just want to spend time with him. b suggested i start doing some induction techniques, but there's very few i can do on my own. i've been taking evening primrose oil and long walks. i'm not even sure if he's dropped yet. i have a midwife appointment this afternoon, so i'll ask then.

thankfully rach put me onto the BBC1 show "call the midwife". it's based on a book, and has a slow-paced book-like quality to it. it's been a good alternative to reading, since right now my brain can't really concentrate enough to read. plus, it's topical. the one thing that i have to remind myself of is that in the show, the midwives receive the call when the woman is in labour, which is normal for that profession. what i have to remind myself of is that all women have to wait for their baby, it doesn't just happen because of a telephone call.

i think i'd like to bake some oatmeal chocolate chip cookies today. i don't usually have time to bake, and don't usually bake for pleasure. but every once and a while, when i DO have time (like when we had the week off for renos last year), i'll bake something. i don't have any oats, so i'll walk over to metro in a little bit.

we have a handyman here today doing some work in andrew+shannon's apartment. it would probably be weird if i went into labour and gave birth while he's here.

i can feel a difference,
today, a difference.