stitches

liam daniel olding was born at 9:20 am today.
he was 6 lb 12 oz.

i was there.

tim called at 6:52 to say that they were at the hospital and i'd better get my butt down there. i rushed as fast as i could and made it into her room on connell 5 by 7:20. she was 5 centimetres dilated. when i realized she was still only halfway and had another 5 centimetres to go i wished i brought my knitting. i had to leave the room when she got the epidural, that took about 20 minutes, then after that it was smooth sailing. we chatted about various things while tim made phone calls. i asked the nurse questions, tried to be helpful and stay out of the way. at about 8:50 while tim had gone to the cafeteria for a coffee, joy said to the nurse "i'm feeling a lot of pressure". pat the nurse checked her out and discovered she was now 10 centimetres dilated and ready for action. she took some time prepping everything, and joy began pushing at about 9:10. it went off without a hitch. text-book. fantastic. several of joy's friends and my mom were concerned about me being there, and joy's friend diane told her to keep me by her head. but i wasn't scared, disturbed by the blood or bothered by her nudity.

i loved that the tool used to break her water looks like a crochet hook.

i got to cut his umbilical cord.

several weeks ago someone asked me what i thought the name would be. i said i wasn't sure, then the name liam popped into my head. i told her "well, for some reason liam comes to mind, but nah, it probably won't be that. it was too popular a couple years back". i was shocked when she told me, i danced around and said "i guessed it was going to be liam!"

i have never felt as connected to my womanhood before in my life. i was utterly amazed by my own instincts. once he was out and lying on joy's belly, she and i just cooed at him for the next 45 minutes. amazed at his goopy beauty. i just wanted to look at him.

at one point when they were trying to get joy cleaned up, tim said "oh, did you want to get covered up because les is here?" and joy said "no, les has seen it all before". there is no shame between us. i'm amazed by the bond between my sister and i. this person i know as though she's my own self. sometimes i find myself looking at my fingers, or my elbows, searching for scars i was certain existed, until i remember; no those are joy's fingers, they're her scars.

i'm so honoured to have been at the birth of her son. to witness him emerging. to celebrate his arrival. i don't think i'll ever be the same again.

and i look at their babies,
and their tiny little hands,
and the way they get loved and the way they get loved.