burnt

i went to value village this afternoon. i found a selection of stuff to try on, perused the men's section looking for a snazzy vest, but came up short. i ended up getting a great pair of navy blue cords, they're really comfy and flattering, which is nice. i haven't actually worn cords recreationally in 10 years. when i was about 19 i suddenly only wanted to wear jeans – jeans jeans i needed to wear jeans. but now i feel open to the idea of cords and quite like them. they're less bulky than jeans. i tried on a few long sleeve shirts and found 2 that i liked and 1 i felt so-so about so decided against it. after i left the store i realized that i bought the one i was just so-so about. i put it in the "take" pile, instead of the "no" pile. hmph. i stood in the parking lot, swearing, trying to decide what to do, and ended up keeping it. after working at value village i know what they're return policy is like, so i knew it wasn't worth the hassle. it's a nice shirt, but is just a little short, and i prefer long shirts. but i can imagine rach wearing it, and that's always a good sign. in my mind i tried to picture rach wearing it, how she would solve the "too short" problem, and i figure i can just layer it up and it'll look fine.

as i slept this morning, i had a dream with him in it. it wasn't a special dream, but he said to me "don't you think it's time to get up now?" and a second later my alarm clock went off. it really was time to get up. it was really fascinating.

i remember it all. it was something that made a profound impact on me.

now when the sun come up,
i'll be there to say what up.