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yesterday was a big day for me.

yesterday was the day i went to my doctor to discuss my options for birth control. i debated not getting into this on pspd, but i'm pretty excited about this milestone event, so i decided to get over it and share my experience with you.

ok, so i knew that i did not want to go the birth control pill route. i feel that i've gone 30 years without hormone manipulation, so why bother at this point. i recognize that it's convenient but i feel for myself that just because something is easy doesn't mean it's the best choice. i've heard oodles of negative experiences with the pill, most of my friends have been on it, and most of them have chosen to go off it and find alternatives. so i've been leaning towards the diaphragm. i've been using a diva cup for my period for 2 years now, and the diaphragm doesn't seem like too far of a stretch. unfortunately, i don't know a lot of people who use the diaphragm, except for one good friend who lives far away. my doctor was quite positive about that option, and said it was her method of choice as well. it was neat having that kind of conversation with a female doctor because she was able to advise me partly based on her own experience. i can't imagine having that talk with my old family doctor. she said it's been about 10 years since prescribing a diaphragm to anyone, but is quite happy to do it, we've made an appointment for next week so i can go in for a fitting. after my appointment i strolled down to dairy queen for a blizzard and waited in line for about a half hour. it was trippy, annoying and kind of scary because i was surrounded by students that entire time. students can be frightening because they're so foreign to me now, i'm kind of intimidated by them. as i stood in line at dairy queen i thought about how difficult the idea of pregnancy is for me to wrap my mind around. like seriously, i've spend the last 15 years with no chance of being pregnant. the thought of that being a possibility for me seems completely out of the question, so not only will i have to get used to the diaphragm, i'm going to have to get used to the idea that i need to be meticulous about it because babies can happen. how strange! it's scary to think that one only knows if their method of choice is working when it doesn't.

that evening when brendan came over i showed him the pamphlet i was given by my doctor and together we sat and read thru the entire thing. it was both funny and awkward. sometimes b would make a face, and i would tell him "if you're not mature enough to talk about birth control, you're not mature enough to have sex" to that he'd make an amusing argument about how comfortable he was with a birth control conversation.

has it even struck anyone odd that women spend years trying to avoid babies only to later try anything and everything to have one? we don't want to have kids for a while. brendan is still young, and i'd like to enjoy being just us before adding a menacing baby into the mix. all i know is that i don't want birth control to be stressful, and i don't want conception to be stressful later.

ok, so there's my blog entry about birth control. i'm a grown-up now! all engaged and talking about not getting pregnant. who ever thought it would come to this. can't say i did :p

you're picture is a portrait,
the portrait's never done.