david asked me today if i'm going to change my name when i get married. i am. my name will be lesley lorimer. les lorimer. LESLEY LORIMER. Lesley Meredith Lorimer. my email address will be leslorimer@gmail.com. david thought that was cool, except he thinks it should be spelled/pronounced lortimer – with a T in it. and will now henceforth call me "lorty".
as much as i know that my name will soon change, it's far from sinking in. i've talked about changing my name on pspd before. like here for example. i think changing my name will be one of the most romantic expressions of my life. however, that's not to say it won't be REALLY difficult to get used to. its becoming increasingly clear to me that i will only retain the name mcknight for another 2 months and 13 days, and that's a scary thought. obviously i strongly identify my last name with who i am, but i recognize that i'm joining with another person, so by in large i'm about to change. i figure the name change is valid, because it will be a visible representation of the change in my life. but it's still hard to get my brain around. it logistically makes sense to take b's name, but that somehow doesn't make that transition easier. i'm going to try to fully immerse myself in the new last name as to help it "take" quicker. i figure i might as well jump in with both feet. but i find myself wondering... do i call the cable company before i get married or after, do i put in a request for a new driver's license before or after. i'm still going to have to use my maiden name when we go to cambodia because that's what's on my passport. so do i assume the new name after returning?? i dunno. it's much more complicated than simply taking a new name, officials need to be notified. i wonder how far into the future i'll still receive mail addressed to lesley mcknight. 10 years maybe?
did anyone else find it hard/trippy?
i'm going to start trying to think of myself (for some of the time) as lesley lorimer in hopes of getting a head-start on the transition. hopefully by the time the day arrives it will feel more appropriate. they say it takes 23 days to change a habit. surely that's all it would take to separate myself with 30 years of history with one small word :S hm, unlikely, i think this will be my greatest nuptial challenge.
we'll organize a sort of revolution.
6 comments:
hmm... i think that it will take a long time to get used to, but that it won't be as hard as you think. because even if you aren't using your birth surname after you're married, it'll still be part of you. and i think you should relax and maybe enjoy "using up" mcknight because you have the rest of your life to get used to lorimer.
this coming from someone who will only change her name if guy's last name is cooler than mine. ;)
after.
and yes, it was really hard to adjust to the new name.... but i'm so very glad i did! and i completely identify with my new name now and have for years.
and sometimes, my mom forgets and will make out my birthday cheque in my maiden name. hehe!
one thought... if you love mcknight so much, it could become your middle name. my grandmother did that, in fact it was just always the thing to do when you got married... drop your middle name, and your maiden name becomes your new middle name. i like it, but didn't do it myself. my maiden name was wooldridge.
I took my husbands last name, but it took a long time for me to decide if that is what I really wanted to do. I knew that I did not want to be a hyphen-ator. My hyphened last name would have been terrible.
That being said, if you take B's name...wait until after you return. If you do it before, your ID won't match your passport, which equals disaster at the airport.
Also, when it is time to change your utilities into your new name, wait until after the wedding as they may request a copy of the marriage certificate.
I have been married for 1.5 years and everyone still calls me by my maidem last name at work...out of habit mostly. I actually wrote my name wrong the other day, for the first time since I got married.
My mom signed her maiden name on the hospital form when she was in labour with me.
Jason found the transition harder than I did. Once he introduced me to someone as "my wife, Rachel Nafziger." I did not find the transition very hard. I consciously stopped thinking of myself as Rachel Nafziger when I was 17. I didn't like my last name and was glad to think of taking a new one some day. I only thought of myself as Rachel Janae. However, my SIN card still has my maiden name on it. I can't change it because we don't have a copy of our marriage license anymore.
So my advice is: change your name BEFORE you lose your marriage license.
hahaha... i love that bit of advice, Rachel. :) seriously good advice.
Interesting post Les. I always wanted to change my name, figured like you, that it was romantic and symbolic of two becoming one. I was the type to endlessly scribble my name with the last name of whoever I happened to be dating at the time. But I did spend many years of my life as Sarah Butler and in the end, it was Paul who couldn't imagine me with any other name! He didn't believe there was any necessary reason for the woman to take the man's name and we both agreed we mainly just wanted to share a name. I must admit that keeping my own name has been very convenient - and I loved Paul even more for wanting that part of me.
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