i should be tidying the house because mim and ron are coming for dinner in approximately 16 minutes. but i have a lot on my mind that i need to unload in order to have a good time tonight.
have you ever reached the point in a relationship where you realize "hey, that person doesn't really consider me a friend", or you realize that what was once a really tight friendship has somehow folded like a house of cards? or heard about a friend's wedding that you were not invited to? i'm sick of one sided friendships where i make all the effort. i've been really restless today, borderline crabby. poor laney kept getting random moody emails from me while i was at work. it took me all day to put my finger on what was bothering me. and when it hit me it was like "wow, that person doesn't care about me AT ALL!!!" it left me feeling so aggravated and frustrated that yet again i've been duped by a "false friendship". now this may be too haste of me. i recently had written off a friend, saying "clearly he doesn't care about me, he never calls, never makes time for me and only write these short reply emails". but then he called me to say he had a birthday gift for me. and with that all my frustration went. maybe i'm fickle. no, its not that, he knows how much a simple jesture of a gift means to me. its because it means the person was thinking of you. it really surprised me because even after all these years i thought for sure he wouldn't remember. or maybe i was trying to prepare myself for that possibility.
maybe i'm too trusting so i get hurt too easily. maybe i have too high expectations of what a friendship SHOULD be. but if you really cared about someone wouldn't you make more of an effort? maybe i should be more understanding. i'm just feeling tired. and weary. i must be pmsing. oh sorry male readers. aw, who am i kidding i don't really have any male readers. lets see... tim forbes, paul, buddy, al. i think that's it. well i appologize for any "too emotional" content.
cya.
2 comments:
one sided friendships are exhausting. lots of effort put in and no return and that is not gratifying at all.
Maybe it is who we are.
maybe we are givers and the person that is at the other end is just a taker. We need to teach them how to be givers!
i suppose we need to teach them, however sometimes we just need to step back so they stop taking the relationship for granted.
i don't know. there's no easy solution. part of me doesn't even want to be available when they need me. its like "don't just be a crappy-weather friend"
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