you know when you're just going along in life, things are going well and you've put something behind you that's been difficult to let go of. then out of the blue, life throws a wrench in your spokes?? argh, i hate that!!! but you know what?!?! i've been doing really good and i won't let this unravel me. i'm not gonna "2-step back" this time. i won't entertain the "what does this mean?" question because i know in my head it doesn't mean a thing, no matter how it looks. history & past patterns need to play a role here in reminding me to stand firm.
it's weird that doing weights at the Y is giving me callouses on my hands. its gross!! i'm not a fan of callouses, i keep hoping they're gonna go away like a blister does. they were my main deterrent to learning to play the guitar, i tried but it hurt, and my hands are kind of little. my mom was teaching me, she's very musical. she plays the guitar, piano and can play the accordian too! hahahaha. for years and years she wanted to learn how to play the drums and did a couple years back. she hasn't played the guitar (or according for that matter) for ages. its a shame i didn't take after her. i took piano lessons as a kid, but when my mom asked mrs. slack if i showed any talent she said "no" and that was the end of that. but that's ok i have other talents, maybe... joy used to make fun of me and say i didn't have any gifts or talents. then recently realized that was a horrible thing to say and appologized. i'm one of those people who was always just mediocre at everything and didn't excel at anything. but i guess as i've gotten older my skills have become more obvious. like i'm particularly good at stomping on that koopa in the castle in super mario 3... i can start driving on a hill in my standard car without needing the parking break... umm... well i'm a good designer, but i only ever got average grades in college. but graphic design is very subjective, and the people in my class who had the highest marks aren't even working in the industry, so who's laughing now?!?!? i don't mean to sound down on myself. i'm a really nice person, i'm fun and lovely (as pam would say). i guess my "soft skills" make up for my lack of "hard skills". its ok, i accept that. i'm me, and i wouldn't want it any other way...
you can't find nothing at all, if there was nothing there all along.
13 comments:
I am intrigued as to what this wrench is that is caught in your spokes. We may need to hold an emergency "tgs" this week to discuss. Be strong! :-)
hahahaha, frig...
there's nothing i can say that will subtly reveal the nature of the wrench without making it blindingly obvious. then i'd cring with embarrasment for even giving it a second thought.
i love that i can hear you saying "be strong" in my head. hahahaha.
you just have to be zen about it. "there is no wrench".
oooh... visualise the wrench... bright and shiny silver... now, leave it in the backyard in the mud for years and years and watch it rust and decay. Imagery is very powerful.
aha it's all about patterns.
hahaha, i like that "there is no wrench" because you're right, it is all in my head.
melinda... this is different than my food patterns.
maybe patterns are my mental disorder. can you look that up for me please, to see if such a mental problem exists??
Never knew that you were so vain.
A little vanity makes a person more interesting!
i don't think its vanity. its low tolerance for grossness :p
the world doesn't revolve around you and your food patterns... there are other patterns going on out there...
i'm not sure what you're getting at...
that i love you.
awww, thanks lady! you're the best valentine ever!
i'm gonna go have a shower before my hot date ;)
hm, I am now curious about the wrench, I think I've had a similar experience. I will add that I am impressed by beck's powerful imagery. Now the dog goes and digs the decayed wrench out of the mud and carries it away.
hmmm, you girls and your enquiring minds. it doesn't matter now. lets just say the wrench has been dislodged and i'm continuing as per usual...
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