things are never as they seem. or at least they never are how you imagined them to be. i got my new toilet today and its not all that i'd dreamed of. there's definitely a problem when you have to wait for something for extended periods of time. it gets built up in your mind as this really awesome thing that will change your life. its a nice little toilet, but the shape of its base is different to the old one and the old platform is exposed. AND i think its sloped. i have a lopsided toilet. but i think that's the fault of my floor. regardless, its still a huge improvement. its nice not having a rocking toilet anymore. well that's enough about that....
well they've rented out the downstairs apartment. so long kevin and amy, hello dick and jane. ok those aren't their real names, i don't know their names yet so i'm improvising. this evening i wrote out my rent cheques for the next year. oddly enough, writing 2008 didn't feel THAT strange. i did find myself wondering "what will have changed by october 2007?" i marvel at that thought. always do. i like the feeling of the future being a mystery that i uncover.
this evening i cooked dinner and wore an apron. i danced around and wrote postcards. i'm feeling very well-adjusted. cozy and lovely.
i wonder if time actually stands still and it's us who keep moving forward.
i was reading a chapter of a corrie ten boom book this evening and it choked me up. grey's anatomy got me all teary-eyed last week. i wonder if i'm getting softer. for years i was so staunched, believe it or not i never talked about my feelings. i'm glad i overcame that, its less confining. i feel like water.
i still will be your shelter
through rain and through storm.
3 comments:
It is funny to hear you speak of your toilet in the "is that all there is" sort of way.
Not to trivialize the more serious things in our lives but I know people who have felt the same way about finding a spouse and having a baby. Not that these things aren't great. But the truth is that life is what we make it - today.
Sometimes we kid ourselves into thinking that finding a spouse, having a baby, getting a new job, a raise, retirement, etc. will make us happy. Happiness is about what we decide to be, not what happens to us. In my case, I choose to be miserable.
i COMPLETELY agree with you. i've been thinking about that a lot lately, and my toilet was yet another example of that. and i find it almost ironic that this mentality extends as far as household fixtures. our minds can romanticize everything.
indeed.
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