appelkaka

the time has come. the time when joelle starts to wonder things about me. she asked joy "why doesn't auntie lesley have any babies?" joy simply told her it's because i'm not married and that you have to be married to have babies. then, without thinking she said "that's why she has two cats". she cringed realizing how bad that sounded. i suppose it's somewhat true that i don't have kids because i'm unmarried, but i think it's more accurate to say "because she doesn't want any yet". i never thought i'd have kids at 27, nor did i want to. i have a long way to go before reaching that stage. i'm still coming of age.

i heard yesterday the saying "it's to your credit to overlook an offense". i think that's completely true. i'll stick that in my pipe and smoke it.

i fear that he has somehow slandered my reputation and she's now afraid of me thinking i'm a psycho. i've done many things in my life that i'm not proud of, but falling in love with a nutjob is the least of my crimes.

listening to depressing johnny cash covers on repeat isn't always the best way to spend easter sunday. or any day for that matter. thankfully changing my tunes broke me out of my lethargic state.

this afternoon we sat around the table at my sisters house. the 7 of us. what a ride we've been on together. i have it amazingly good. my "broken home" is more complete, more joyful and more loving than many traditional homes. i'm SO THANKFUL that my parents get along. and i'm so glad that after all these years, we are once again one unit. let this be a lesson to me, that not everything good happens right when we want it to. not everything good comes in the form we're expecting. i've experience great disappointments in my life, but what is crooked is always made straight.

give me your eyes,
i need sunshine.
your blood,
your bones,
your voice,
and your ghost.