forgot

what would you rather be doing right now?

i don't mean other than reading pspd, i mean instead of being at your computer. what do you wish you were doing right now if you had no restrictions. interesting.

i never cease to be amazed by the human race. obviously i'm the kind of person who overthinks and analyzes everything. i think deep thoughts and ask myself big questions. today i was astounded by a conversation with a co-worker here she said "its just not fair". i was mentally floored. how is it that she managed to get to her 40s and not realize issues of life and death are not about what's fair. when it all boils down to it, life is NOT fair and people don't always get what they deserve. the words of my mom still rings in my ears, whenever i'd complain as a kid about something not being fair she would say "nobody ever said life was going to be fair". that always shut me up, but perhaps it prepared me for life more than i thought it could.

at lunch i managed to clear a table of men just because i sat with them. normally i would be offended by this, but that was actually exactly what i wanted. they were sitting at my lunch table. i was prepared to share with them. i wasn't going to try to join their conversation, i was just going to read. but they still moved to another table. whatever, i feel powerful. repelling men has never been so convenient.

today i told a colleague that she hurt my feelings. this was probably unprofessional of me but her comments were inappropriate, so instead of getting angry i was honest. i kind of think that approach is better. i think i learned that from vinc'. i'm not sure if it was because english was his second language, but he was always "frank" with me. so i was always frank in return. there's a certain amount of freedom when you can just be honest with people (of course this does not mean crossing the line to being rude).

who's to say where the wind will take you?
who's to say what it is will break you?