honey

well there she is.

christmas 1981.
i like this pic, you can really clearly see my scar.

today i turned 27. it aches a little, but i'll survive. i think ANOTHER reason why this is a particularly difficult age to turn is because there were certain milestones i thought i'd reach by now. what i find most puzzling is that i wouldn't change a thing. so why does it still bother me?

so that's me. that picture. that's who i am. i'm just a little girl inside. i'm scarred and vulenerable. and a little clueless.

my dad called this morning to wish me a happy birthday. he said "its much milder today than the day you were born". its true. it was soo cold that night, and my dad forgot to plug in the car so it wouldn't start. they had to call some friends for a drive to the hospital in the middle of the night.

i had a nice day. i went to church then joined my family at the lonestar for lunch. rhonda and isaac came too. it was nice. my mom freaked me out a bit at first because she brought me a rose and a gift. i completely over-reacted and said "MOM GET THAT OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT THEM TO SING FOR ME!!" last year i got caught and they made me stand and where something on my head. i couldn't see it. but i didn't like it.

my mom gave me a copy of velvet elvis. i'd asked for it. a lot of people had offered to lend it to me, but i wanted my own copy. she'd called me all confused last week "i called the store, they said they only have it in book form, i thought it was a cd". i returned her call to say "IT IS A BOOK"! however, i did state for the record today that it IS true, that i've never asked for a book before and i'm not in the habit of reading non-fiction books.

this evening was the living room christmas party. it was nice. i had a really fun time. we had a good crowd, i'm glad everyone came.

there's a song by bran van 3000 that says "what the hell am i doing drinking in LA at 26". my thoughts were always "what the hell am i NOT doing drinking in LA at 26". so my plan was to go to california when i was 26 to go drinking. that didn't happen. but i feel ok about that. i went to kenya instead. and that's not too shabby.

all in all, my 26th year was a good one. i was telling catherine tonight that i almost feel due for a crappy year. i hope it doesn't actually work like that. if experience has taught me anything, its that things get better with time. so upwards and onwards.

after all you're young,
you're lethal and young.