army

whatever happened to winona ryder?? man, that shop-lifting stunt can't have killed her career. many actors have done WAY worse things. like seriously, consider hugh grant. he's been hugely successful after his street-walker exploits. i think i can speak for both myself and melinda when i say, i'd see any movie she puts out.

he is a double-edged sword.

can someone tell me how to get rid of "loser scent"? i think i'm exhibiting some seriously loser stench lines. it's never a good thing when you look upon yourself with disdain. i wish i could clear my mind of preconceived notions. you know, kind of wipe the hard drive of my mind. i think missing the milestones set by myself hurt more than not living up to other people's expectations. this has been a rough day. i've been hard on myself, and have a cynical response to every pep-talk i try to give myself. although, i concluded today that my moods change like the weather – they're unpredictable and uncontrollable, and sometimes you've just got to ride them out.

probably last week or the week before i was thinking back to when i was 24. i think i was suffering from the hopeless high school mentality when you can't imagine not being in high school so everything seems so bleak. except, obviously, i wasn't in high school. as i thought back, i mused over how much my life has changed and i couldn't even have imagined. then i thought forward, and considered that in years to come things will change radically and i can't picture that either. but right now... i can't see past next tuesday. not like i need to know what's gonna happen, (because i don't) but i'm feeling rather pessimistic.

once upon a time i was just a little bone.
i was just a tiny little rib,
and the rib cage was my home.
somesdays i wondered how it would feel,
to be my own person, to eat my own meals.