pilgrimage

this evening i went to my very first yoga class at the YMCA. it's free with my membership, which is great because i've been wanting to take a yoga class since the summer! beforehand i was a little nervous, but lots of people gave me tips and advise so i felt much more confident that i knew what i was doing. it turned out that there were at least 6 other people who were also novice yogis so i didn't feel as out of place as i had expected. it's called "yoga fit" because they emphasize the physical side and (since it's the Y) they omit the chanting and meditation. it was fun, and very relaxing – to the extent that i'm skeptical that it was even a workout at all! i feel like i spent the evening inhaling and exhaling. however, i DO feel completely exhausted, so perhaps it was more of a workout then i thought. i think tomorrow will be the true test. that being said... i think i'm going to go to bed early tonight.

she said i can't blame myself for other people's decisions. all i know is that every time i try i fail. you can't fault me for trying, because all i ever try to do is the right thing. if something isn't working i try something else. unfortunately all roads lead back to where i am.

apparently i'm the kind of person who expects instant results in every area of my life.

if i were a painter
i would paint my reverie.