shuffle

it's been a bit of a bizarre day. it's been good, don't get me wrong. i got up at a reasonable time, listened to GO on the CBC, cleaned my house, when to the Y, worked on hatch & next bored stuff, had andrew & shannon over for dinner. all good things that i enjoyed a great deal. but something's been nagging at me all day. gnawing on me. eating away my confidence, sense of self, personal value, etc. there have been moments and chunks of time where i definitely was feeling like myself, but those don't last. it's like i have a bad taste in my mouth, and it's taking a while to dissipate. i need a touchstone or a warm and lasting hug.

i'm glad i had shandrew over this evening that was a real highlight of my day. i have a really nice apartment and need to invite people to enjoy it with me more often. it's a challenge for me because my hostess experience is very green and on the lite side. but i suppose i'll become more comfortable with it the more i do it. i'm going to have to purchase a few more board games if i'm going to flex my hostess muscles. we did play a round or two of boggle, but it wasn't really a fair match because i'm a more experienced player.

as i look out of my window onto york street all i see is a blanket of snow. i love it.

i know it's unreasonable, but i prefer it when my exboyfriends contact me to let me know they're getting married. instead of finding out thru the grapevine or on facebook. this could have something to do with the bad taste in my mouth.

life is for the taking,
so i better wise up,
and take it quick.