raining

something of a love song woke me up this morning. it captured me for the entire day.

he stopped by my house saying "i desperately needed to see you, and thought i'd have a bowl of ice cream while i was here". i laughed and corrected him "more like you desperately needed a bowl of ice cream and thought you'd see me while you were here". we sat side by side on my balcony reading silently to ourselves.

i wonder if you know my name. if i'm lost and will ever be found.

i wonder why you believe in me more than i believe in myself. sometimes your over-confidence in my ability is unnerving. i wish you'd make it much easier. that on occasion, you'd stop giving the benefit of the doubt, or at least throw me a clue every once and a while. because on days like this it feels like everything is too big for me. i'm simply overwhelmed by my oxymoron life.

driving his car felt like wearing shoes that are much too big.

you know i need you to be strong,
and the day is as dark as the night is long.