solo

i once saw a film at the screening room called "les choristes" (the choir), some of you may have seen it. there a philosophy among the group of teachers that went "ACTION! REACTION!" meaning, if a student acts out of line, you react in punishment. this was not popular among the students and some of the other teachers. this saying "action. reaction" popped into my head this afternoon, and i concluded something: i am not a person of action – i'm a person of reaction. i avoid making decisions unless they are in reaction to something. when i face decisions that are unprovoked, they create copious amounts of stress. in some ways, my life involves flying below the radar, i like no muss and no fuss. i don't usually rock my own boat.

honestly? i'm scared assless. why did something that seemed so easy, have to turn so hard? i liked how it was going. which just makes me THAT much more miserable about this change of events.

this afternoon i picked up my mouth-guard from the dentist. it's for wearing at night so i stop clenching my teeth. i'm not thrilled about this, it's yet another thing i have to do before falling into bed. it should be free with my new dental plan (crossing my fingers!), so i decided it would be worth it to eliminate the sore mouth i wake up with each morning.

upon leaving the dental office, i strolled up princess street to indigo to purchase a new book or two. the sun was shining and the streets were bussling with people. oh how i wish that was a regular part of my daily routine instead of driving out to millhaven everyday. it was invigorating to be in such an eclectic environment without having to interact. just people watching.

i'm stuck on repeat.

i said, rock, what's a matter with you rock?
don't you see i need you, rock?