i have this problem. my dad has it too. upon hearing bad news i smirk. the worse the bad news the broader my smile. it's embarrassing and misleading, because i actually don't find it funny or amusing at all! you could stand before me, telling me about the worst experience of your life and i would grin at you like an idiot. it's terrible, and i feel ashamed of myself. i remember being on the receiving end of this kind of smirk as a kid, my dad smiled while we told him how much it hurt that he was leaving. it was infuriating. that's really not a trait i wanted to inherit. i don't want to be that person. i consider this a serious problem, so i spent some time today trying to figure out why this happens. at first i came up empty, and sort of concluded i was just emotionally immature, but i think i've finally uncovered what's going on. it's not at all that i think your woes are laughable. not at all. instead i think that it's a reaction of love. as i hear bad news, and my heart goes out those who are hurting and my love increases. it's like my heart is swelling. i smile because i'm overwhelmed with love. the greater the hurt, the greater the love, and greater the facial expression. i really hope that this is an ailment that i'll grow out of, but in case it doesn't i need for everyone to know how to translate my inappropriate smile. it means that i love. i'm sorry that a preemptive blog entry is the only thing i have to offer at this point. i'm a work in progress.
always glaring at the mirrors, mad i don't look better.
1 comment:
hey les, in one of my psych classes we learned that the smile is actually a form of the grimace primates offer each other to show that they mean no harm. i myself tend to smile right as i'm about to burst into tears. :S also awkward.
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