helpless

this is entry number 70. wow. !!

i went to see king kong with melissa today. we went to a matinee. i love matinees. i think its because its such a rare occassion that i can go to one. seeing king kong revealed something to me... i am a girly girl.

wow, that's quite the revelation. my whole life i've considered myself a tomboy. maybe i still am, but i definately have a girly side. i was all squirmy and hiding my eyes. there were a lot of scenes with constant action. like when the dinosaurs kept falling down the hill. they kept falling and falling. and falling. my favourite part was the relationship between kong and ann. that was very beautiful. he totally adored her. i found myself wondering "would i mind living my life as a pet woman to a gigantic gorilla?" he was very nice to her. he protected her. it was really neat how without him she was in constant danger, but with him she couldn't be any safer. it was very interesting to watch.

i remember matt telling me once that i would be good with an effeminate guy because i'm kind of masculine. it was one of those "slap in the face" kind of compliments. but the truth is, i prefer my men to be more masculine than me. but i've noticed lately... there are a lot of effeminate men. its weird. i'm always coming across guys who leave you wondering "is he gay?" what's up with that? is this just a recent occurence or have i only just started noticing it? it also makes me wonder how i feel about the idea of being with a man who's very effeminate. i like manly men. i like men who make me feel like a woman. i like to feel delicate and like a girl. so i guess the answer is: i don't like the idea at all.

this could be our last goodbye