pacman

i've resolved to becoming flexible.

i was thinking during my big family talk the other day; i'm not one for schedules, rules, routines, timelines and so on. then why oh why am i such a planner? it seems the exact opposite of my nature. i think it was a defense mechanisim i developed years ago out of insecurity. its time to let go of it. you can't plan things. you can't force somethings or make somethings come out of nothing. that's alright. that's ok. but i want from now on to be flexible and spontaneous. and to hold loosely things outside myself. i'm not meaning friendships, but events. i'm not sure if that'll make any sense to you, but i don't really care.

last night, i was bored and feeling aimless. coming home after spending time with my family left me thinking "ok, now what?" but out of the blue, beckie msned me and ended up coming along to shoppers, then she came home with me to dye my hair. it was so much fun. i love swapping stories over bailey's and clinking ice cubes. i love that that just happened and it wasn't planned. this is what i want from now on. no more planning. no more mapping out my life. my life is a magic carpet ride. my life is a two seater bike, and i'm just peddling from the back.

i met up with buddy today and i had a really great time with him. he's home for christmas from california. we went to sol latino for lunch then he came shopping with me. it was really fun, i really enjoyed his company. i haven't seen him in 3 years, and after living in san francisco he's all freckley. its cute. we spent the afternoon gabbing about our lives and our friends from highschool, as well as joking about how awesome we are and my ability to shove my foot in my mouth. i'm going to knit him a case for his nalgene bottle, so melissa - i'm gonna need your help on this one. should i use round needles? how do i make the bottom? this is tricky, but i've got to do it because buddy had to cover me on my lunch because they didn't split the bill and i didn't have cash on me. argh! i hate it when they don't split the bill, or at least ask! jeepers.

bud helped me pick some wool for my hot-water bottle holder. its this kind of faux suede that melissa was using for a scarf. i think it'll be really nice and soft. i also had to buy new needles to replace the ones i broke. oops. this time i got metal ones so they won't break, but i've got to be careful so they don't bend.

ooh, so buddy works for eletronic arts and was on the team who developed the new james bond game. so those of you who are gamers... totally go out and buy it! buddy's name is in the credits! here's a link to russia with love

one last thing. melinda is playing at the elixir on thursday night (dec 29). she's acompanying this new "up-and-comer" named mark wilson on her cello. is anyone interested in coming with me? give me a buzz, send me an email. as usual, this invite is open to everyone except scott. hahahaha. i wonder if he's stopped stalking me via my blog yet. maybe its time to stop purposely excluding him. maybe its time to delete some of my links as well. whoa, i'm getting way off topic. so, ya. let me know if you're free and would like to come to the elixir this thursday. that gives you 2 days to rsvp. you have NO EXCUSE! i'll take it as a personal slight if no one rsvps! hahahha. just kidding.

my hands are small i know
but they're not yours they are my own
and i am never broken