listen

yes, it IS way past my bedtime.

my throat appears to be slowly closing because i wasn't very timely in taking my last dose of allergy pills.

i had things i wanted to talk about today but they're being pushed out of my mind by this sinéad o'connor song that's blaring through my headphones (see how considerate i am listening to my headphones because its really late and i don't want to wake-up kevin and amy downstairs??).

tonight i started painting the cabinet doors in my bathroom. i'm pleased with them. i'm going to really like how they look instead of being left as crappy pile board, they'll now match the rest of the cabinet. i love working with my hands. i love crafting things. i'll probably sit admiring those cabinet doors for many hours (well not at a time, probably for more like 10 minute stints). i do that at work, when i'm working on a project i'll just sit there starring at the monitors or at the print out. starring. i found it interesting tonight when i was talking to melissa online that she was baking and i was painting - the things we love doing. i get such satisfaction out of refinishing furniture or whatever. it fits like a glove. i'm doing what i'm meant to be doing. sometimes i beat myself up about not being much of a baker/cook, but i guess my desire lies elsewhere and that's ok. i'm me and just they way i'm supposed to be.

uh-oh, my glands are swollen.

as i get older, i realize that things that once meant EVERYTHING to me will eventually mean nothing. and i guess the opposite is true too – things that meant nothing to me will eventually mean everything. i'm glad that certain things don't matter the way they used to, and am encouraged to know that the things that hurt me now won't in a little while. i've just got to make wise decisions and tone-down my recklessness.

it seems everyday i come home with something else for my apartment. a chair, a lamp, a trash can, a can opener, an extension cord, paint. what will it be tomorrow? that dang adapter for my facet! i've got to remember that.

this is the last day of our acquaintance