hint

the air outside is sweet with the scent of rain.

melinda and i went to see sex and the city tonight. i loved it. you know how those girls theoretically represent all types of women and we can all relate to one of them? well i concluded tonight that i'm a carrie bradshaw – for various reasons.

i realized that my freak-out this afternoon was no more than a minor disappointment manifesting itself as a crisis. once i discovered the true cause of my panic attack i felt much relieved. while at the same time feeling rather shallow.

i hold everything loosely. even my hearts greatest desire i'm still rather "hum-ho" about. i don't think i was always that way. over time i've learned to set my expectations low. i think that hurts me the most, realizing that i don't even feel eligible for high hopes. the only thing i've truly grown to expect was me falling on my face.

as i stood in my kitchen with his empty t-shirt in my hands, i couldn't resist smelling it. i don't think i've ever been close enough to smell him in real life, so i can't confirm if it actually smells like him or not.

sometimes i have to ask myself "is it really worth it?" when dealing with the people around me. my irish streak tries to persuade me to fight for my rights, when really in the long run it's probably easier to just go with the flow.

we'll just start our own convent – the sisters of sexy immi.

i'm afraid that my love is gonna come up short.